I never was really bothered too much by my body...I mean, it bothered me when people would comment that I was too skinny, members of my immediate family said I had an eating disorder because of the food that I prefer, and I still remember being picked on in 5th grade for having small boobs. It wasn't something that I really gave much thought to, or paid much attention to, because it just wasn't important to me. God knows I chose other things to obsess over instead.
I had a great body image when I was pregnant. Although I felt sloppy (mostly because I was in pajamas every. single. day. due to bed rest) when I got to great ready and go out, I felt great. I loved my big belly (and loved thinking about how I was nourishing a child and keeping him safe)...and other things were curvier, too. Even though your physical body is not what makes you beautiful, I felt beautiful.
Since having Judah I have been struggling about being insecure about the way my body looks. Over those 9 months, my skin stretched to accommodate my new shape. After giving birth, everything, well, deflated. My thighs and butt have drooped and my hips got wider. I have extra skin on my stomach now that is loose and jiggly. When I button my pants, I have a "muffin top" and it's discouraging that I don't fit into my clothes. After feeding the baby, "deflated" isn't even the word for it and things are hanging down to my belly button!
I'm really surprised at my feelings because, truly, I never really cared before. I suppose once I'm able to get out of the house, and pick up some new clothes that fit my new body, I will be able to appreciate and embrace it, rather than feeling discouraged and uncomfortable.
Who knows. We all have issues and insecurities and it's important that we don't discount each others feelings and realize we're all on this journey together, just in a different way.
See you along the journey--
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I was going to speak some words of encouragement here, but I think you took the words out of my mouth with the last paragraph you wrote. You are SO beautiful, don't ever think otherwise! I've always admired your natural beauty...seriously. Love and embrace your body!
ReplyDeleteAw, Jess, you are and always have been beautiful! God has made you perfect! Like you said we are all in this same world, just see if a little differently. You take such good care of your family and yourself and that alone is an accomplishment! Love you!
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