New Obsession.

So I get obsessed with things and think about them 24/7.  For a while it was cloth diapers.  I learned everything there was to know about them--we've saved over $1000 using them so far!-- then it was making wool dryer balls...I got JoAnns coupons and went back and bought new yarn every week.  Then it was a bunch of random house projects that I started but couldn't finish.

Now ladies and gents: it's a DSLR.  I want a nice camera so bad!  I'm thinking of all the fun and great things I could do with it....How exciting it will be....how it will be a good investment...a new hobby.  I've been reading and researching....I know everything I need to know.

I just need the funds.  I could have used Christmas money, but I've been putting everything into our emergency fund so we can be closer to Jared feeling OK about our TTC.  And ya know, to be prepared for emergencies and stuff. Then I thought, instead of the camera, we could use the money to replace the two front doors of the house.  I love home improvement projects.  Then I thought about the emergency fund.  Ahh geez.  Oh, well.  I guess I'll just continue to stalk craigslist.

Well, here it is.  The highly anticipated longish entry (you have been waiting, right?) .

I love my life.  What an exciting time of life this is!  Over the past 5 years, I've moved out on my own, got engaged, got married, went to an amazing island for an amazing honeymoon, got pregnant, was blessed and developed a great relationship with my midwife (it's awesome to have a circle of people around you that are like mindset when it comes to your health), had a mind blowing (ahhh hahah!) natural birth, watched my little boy thrive, learn, and grow on an everyday and sometimes nightly  basis.

I got baptized, made some great friends, grew in my faith and my relationship with God, and worked on being healed from past hurts and traumas.

I always knew I would be a mom eventually, but never had dreams of the process, or what it would be like...I never babysat other peoples kids, never oogled over other people's babies, didn't know how to hold a baby without "breaking them", and never even changed a diaper until Judah.  Growing up, my sister was always "labeled" the one that would grow up to be such a great little mom and I was always the one that could care less because I showed no interest. 

I think to myself I was born to be a mom but then immediately feel a pang of embarrassment because of the aforementioned label (and because sometimes, I feel like I look like I'm clueless---I'm sure all moms feel that way at one point or another!).

Isn't it amazing how we can let words affect us?  I have learned that people can say anything and everything, but we don't need to attach ourselves to those words, or take them on as our own.  Practicing non attachment makes so much sense and is really liberating--although sometimes easier said than done.  It reminds me of a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Good stuff.

As thankful and happy I am about my life, I have been struggling lately.  I want long another baby.  The feeling is intense and deep....and I feel it each and every single day.  The longing is difficult to describe, as I haven't felt this way about anything else in life--besides before we conceived Judah--he was something I prayed and prayed for.  You see, before I found out I was pregnant, Jared said that he wanted to be on "the 5 year plan".  His passion in life is paying off debt. He wanted to get our school loans paid off and have a majority of the mortgage paid off before having kids.  We weren't trying per se, but also weren't preventing, and that "plan" lasted all of 5 months...

I remember taking the test really hoping that it would be positive, but knowing that God's will is perfect. If it was negative, there was a really good reason for it.  I prayed that God would hold me and carry me through if it were negative, because he knew the desires of my heart. I went back to look at the test and there were two lines.

Now back to present day.  "Our" plan for our family is to have our kids close in age.  2 years being the closest together and hopefully no further than 2 1/2 years.  If you do the math, 2 years = February.  And because February is right around the corner, Jared changed his mind (haha, but I'm not really laughing).  He is smart and I need to relax and listen to his desires because in the long run, they will benefit our family.  We will need to take over the 3rd floor which means a few things:

1. We will lose that rental income each month and will need to figure out a way to make up for it
2. We will need to spend money on more renovations to enclose the hallway, knock down some walls, put new Sheetrock up, and a bunch of other things that have my Pinterest mind going, but cost $$$$$!
3. We still have Jared's van loan, my school loan, and the mortgage

At this point in time, he is still on board for having them, God willing, closer than 2 1/2 years apart (August) but wants to wait until after tax time since he's not sure if we're going to owe anything this year.

Here comes the possible TMI stuff.  Another wrench in the plan is that even if  we decided to try to get pregnant right now, I still haven't gotten my period yet.  To get your period, you have to ovulate.  To get pregnant, you have to ovulate.  Unless I catch the first egg (which would be awesome to not have a period for like 4+ years, lol, since I'm going on 2 years now) I can't get pregnant now anyway.  So it's a frustrating waiting game.  Breastfeeding is SO important and although I've weaned Judah a bit, I guess 4-5 times throughout a 24 hr period is still too much.  Again, I just need to let go of things that are out of my control.

I did make an appointment with my midwife to talk about the future,to make sure we're all on the same page, and to be proactive.  I asked her to order some blood work that my naturopath was interested in seeing and to check me again to see if I was still positive for Group B Strep (which is one possibility of why I was having so many contractions so early and frequently).  Unfortunately, I'm still positive.  I haven't gone to get the blood work done because I haven't been able to coordinate it with Jared's schedule (so I don't need to take the baby with me).  The blood work won't really tell us anything about possible complications with a future pregnancy, but rather just check my thyroid, vitamin D level, lead level (because Judah's were slightly higher than normal), etc.

We're about $1000 away from our goal amount to be saved in the emergency fund, I started researching new insurance policies to make sure I have the best coverage, and have a list of people to ask to be in our "support team" if the next pregnancy becomes high risk.

It's really scary to think of the possibility of being on bed rest with a toddler.  Way before I was on bed rest with Judah, when I just needed to "be careful" Sheela didn't want me lifting much more than 10 pounds and wanted me to put my feet up as much a possible.  As we all know (and love), Mr. Judah T is not a featherweight and wants to be held and carried often.  Again, again, again.  Out of my control.  "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34


I am finally learning how to have some mommy-off-duty time, just like Jared goes to play basketball once a week.  I just finished 8 weeks of a sewing class, got a new book to read, am going out to dinner with a friend tomorrow, and am trying to get a group of girls together to do some fun stuff.  I'd like to work on being a better wife, too.  It gets hard some times because Jared is so busy with his work and to-do list and I don't know how to relax.  It will come.  I have to be intentional about things.


Christmas is only 3 full days and a few hours away---I can't believe it!  What I'm looking most forward to is seeing Judah open his presents.  Last year I was so exhausted and didn't wrap them because the thought of spending the time to wrap them, just to unwrap them myself seemed so silly.  This year, he will be able to unwrap them himself, as proven by the fact that he already has tried to multiple times....resulting in his presents now being on top of our dresser :)


Well,  that's all folks.


See you along the journey--

Quick!

Judah has seemed to really sprout up over the past few days (maybe that's been a part of the night waking and crankiness--along with the teeth).  He can easily grasp the door knob now and reach far on top of the kitchen table. 

He's increased his solids to something more equivalent to meals, whereas before it was mostly snacks.  He was beginning to beg for food whenever we were eating it (not just occasionally) and never seemed satisfied with the amount I gave him in the high chair.  Subsquently, he is nursing less.  I did some research though, and it looks like the amount that I was nursing him, anyway, was a lot more than most people at this stage in the game.

He loves to climb in things--laundry baskets, his toy basket, anything he can put his little butt in.  He also likes to take things out, one at a time, an either hand them to you or put them into something else.

He took a few steps the other day and April let us borrow a walking toy, so he should be crusin around in no time!

We're going to look at a house for Lindsay, Bryan, and Lola today--which I'm SO pumped about!!  I better get in the shower though because I have a lot to do yet to get us out of the house on time.

Hope to sit down and write a nice entry soon (I know, I know...I always say stuff like that then never do).  I've got some exciting stuff to divulge.

See you along the journey--

My baby's going to be ONE!

I was walking through Target on Saturday with Judah in the Ergo and for whatever reason, I started saying "Clap, Clap, Clap!". I almost didn't even realize it, but Judah started clapping!  We JUST started practicing clapping a few days prior---and the coolest part was was that I didn't clap.  I just said the word clap and he knew the word and made the association to do so.  How awesome is that?!  I couldn't believe it!  I love him so much!

He's also standing on his own--just for a few seconds.  I'm not even sure if he realizes it yet.  He was holding onto the edge of the TV stand and I put my hands out to see if he would walk to me.  He faced me, then let go, then stood there.  He took two steps, then took my hands.........and clapped them together.  He likes to clap, I guess.  He also let go of the couch tonight and stood there holding his yellow plastic shovel for maybe 10 seconds before he sat down. 

I was asked to come back to work to help train someone to do my old job.  I get my discount back, they are paying for childcare, and I have my old pay.  And a super flexible schedule.  SCORE!  It's only a few hours a week and one of my friends is watching Judah so I'm not nervous.  She has two kids, one being 5 months older than he is, so it's really good for him to be around them, too.  He LOVES kids.  When this one Gerber commercial comes on that flashes a bunch of different baby's faces, he starts screaming "Ooooooooooh!"  and pointing.  Oh, and that's a new thing.  He points at lots of things now, too.

He has a cold right now, it's only the second time in his life that he's been sick.  Go Breast milk!  Woo hoo! Haha.  He seems to be almost over it, but poor guy was a mess yesterday.  He had snot from his chin to his forehead, encrusted in his hair, on his ear.  Aw.  He had a terrible time breathing as well, but praise God is wasn't like last winter when he was a newborn and we ended up in the ER.  That was so scary.  I never want that to happen again.

This time last year we were counting the hours.  Every hour that passed was another one closer to our goal of making it to term with an inside baby.  We were so very grateful to have made it to 35 weeks and we were finally starting to be able to relax a little bit knowing that Judah would probably be okay if he came early.  It was absolutely terrifying and I pray that we never have to go through that anxiety again.  It's tough not knowing if subsequent pregnancies will be complicated.

On a lighter note, I will try and post some recent pictures tomorrow, depending on how Judah T is feeling and if I go to work or not. 

See you along the journey--

Quickest Update Ever

Judah's got 5 teeth

His bed time routine starts around 7:40 (Praise the Lord! It's been SUCH a struggle and it's nice we've reached some sort of level of normalcy)

He wakes up between 4-6:30.  If he wakes up at 4, he goes back down til around 8 usually.  If he wakes up around 6 ish, he's up for the day.

He's down to one nap it seems.  Starting at 11.

He's making so many new noises and sounds and really babbling up a storm once he gets going.  To this point, we think he's said his name twice, says Da da da da daaaaaa---but not to Dad specifically, and it seems like he's tried to say things back to us that we've said.

He climbs up on the heater and tries to go out the window.

He seems like he'll be walking soon, but I'm sure it will be one of those over-night developments.

He's got a ton of hair--and it's getting curly.  And turning very brown. 

He throws tantrums.

He loves all food.

See you along the journey--

Just a little less than a year ago....

was my baby shower!  I was just recently given these pictures and was excited to relive the moments.

Here are some shots from the day (Disclaimer: I was in the chair most of the day because I was on bed rest....only a few days after was my one-week hospital stay on Mag-sulfate.  Bummer):

Jare painting my toes because I couldn't reach. He did a wonderful job I must add :)

I think that's just about everyone, minus Andrea who took all the photos :)

Well, well, well. Two days in a row, you ask?!

Where am I? In the car. Judah fell asleep and I am NOT waking him up.

I don't know what to make fir dinner tonight...I took out chicken thighs so I could do 'em in the crock pot, then realized that I was missing at least one ingredient from each recipe. So, in the car we went to get stuff and now that I sit here, I realize I forgot all the things I would need for the recipe and just ended up buying more random "parts". How do I do that?! It happens more than I'd like to admit, really.

I need to wash my floors. I can't do it when he's awake since he crawls in and slips. Since he's not really napping, showers are hard to come by so when u get the opportunity, I take it to get clean. I can vacuum though--which is nice, I do it every other day now since the most minute piece of anything looks like food to rhe baby and it's in his mouth in -.5 seconds.

I have to go buy a new ironing board (I only have a table top one and besides the fact that that is ridiculous, the pad us worn out and it leaves marks on your clothes), a baby gate to make my life easier by keeping him out of the kitchen, and that mat for the tub floor. I wish we had a closer place to shop since it seems I have to run unto Dickson City way too many times a week.

What else. Oh, I have baby fever. Bad. Bad, bad, baddddddd bad. I'm exhausted already with Judah and the thought of all if the icky's that come along with being pregnant, not to mention actually having the baby, terrifies me. But I can't stop thinking it. I've been fighting it for months and now that Judah is going to be one soon (can't believe it!) I feel like the pressure is on.

I'm still nursing (obviously) and dont want to stop to TTC--and also haven't gotten my period yet, so I dont even know if I'm ovulating. It was starting to make me crazy, then I remembered that Gods timing is perfect, so it doesn't even matter. That made me happy :) I've been worried about complications with this next pregnancy, but out of no where the other day a huge peace came over me about it, and I knew nothing will be wrong.

Well, I'm going to leave you hanging with more of those details because my backseat passenger is whining.

See you along the journey--

Last Day of Summer....

Already!  I can't believe it! 

We decided to hold off on our vacation to Nashville until Jared's work slows down since it's feast or famine. He's been extremely busy with new customers (and old, of course) and is booked into October.  I'm really bummed I'm going to miss the Country Living Fair---I was looking forward to stopping there on our way down since it's in Columbus and right along the path we'd be traveling.

There were two weddings, an engagement (which we're SO excited about!), and our own 2nd anniversary (which, unfortunately, we didn't get to celebrate since we had said wedding, Jared was the best man and had to drive the bride & groom of said wedding to NYC that night for their honeymoon, annnnnnnnd we had the other wedding the night before).  It was a little busy.

We went to New Jersey twice and stayed with Aunt Weezie.  It was really nice to see everyone--Sarah even came in from Boston to spend time with us while we were there.  It was nice.  It's good to be around family, without all the drama :)  I've really started to see a side of my dad that I've never witnessed before.  He really loves Judah and asks if he can hold him and he even stayed with him one day while we ran to the grocery store.  He's always wanted a boy so I was really excited when we were able to tell him he was going to have a grandson.  It's neat to see him interact with him.  Oh.  And he fed him beef jerky..........................................

Life has changed big time around here with the baby now that he's mobile.  He's into EVERYTHING. Like everything, everything.  Jared's actually watching him so I can blog this and all I hear is "Judah, no!" "Judah, stop!" "No. No. Nononnononnoo no" "Judah!".  He still hasn't walked yet but that hasn't stopped him from pulling up on everything and cruising all over the place.  Just tonight, he pulled Jared's lunchbox off the shelf climbing on top of it and used it as a ladder to get to a higher shelf that he can't normally get to.  Oh, boy.

He's got 4 teeth now.  Teething is the WORST.  It's affected his sleeping negatively and he is very clingy during the day making it difficult to get anything done. Getting a shower before 2 o'clock is hard to come by nowadays.  He's been resisting his naps and avoiding bed time--big time, then wakes up several times a night most nights.  It's sad to see him in pain.  Thank God for the Ergo, if I didn't have that I don't know what either of us would do.  It's really been a lifesaver!

He's obsessed with solids now and I've been feeding him a variety of things: brown rice and millet rice cakes, kamut puffs, squash, sweet potato, avocado, green beans, carrots, white potatoes, home made soup, and sprouted bread are among the things he's had now.  Oh, and how could I forget?!  Raspberries.  I know they're on the "no" list of foods before 1, but he's crazy for them!  He started screaming when he sees the package and can't get enough of them.

He's got tons of hair, it's over his ears, and all crazy in the front. He's also still a pretty solid gentleman, sporting 18-24 month clothes.

He has a spatula that he carries everywhere and waves all around like it's his magic wand and loves to hold cups and say "AHHHH!" into them.  It's cute. His babbling vocabulary is pretty extensive now and on two separate occasions both Jared and I think he said his name. He's saying a lot of dadadadadaaaa stuff, but not at Jared in particular.

He won't sit still in the bath tub anymore and wants to stand all the time.  I got a whale to cover the faucet and need to get a mat of the tub floor so he doesn't kill himself.

I got baptized on Sunday.  It was a pretty neat experience, although it was really quick and I felt like I wasn't as focused as I wanted to be because I invited a bunch of people and there was no quiet time before the baptism started.  I cried, though (surprise, surprise), and have been waiting a long time to do what God has told his children to do when they're ready.

Well, I better go rescue Jared,  I will post a bunch of pictures later :)

See you along the journey--

There are just way too many cool things going on!

What a funny little pic.  Notice the grass in his hand--haha.  This is at the Himalayan Institute 2 Sundays ago.  We went to visit with my midwife, who we haven't seen since Judah was probably about 6 weeks old!

Another funny.  He's getting a little vicious with his letter "A".  We did a photo shoot for Jared's birthday with different poses spelling out "DAD"

Well, Mr. Judah T is almost 8 months and 3 weeks old. What's even crazier is the fact that on Wednesday, he turned 37 weeks and 3 days old--the same amount of time God allowed Judah to make his home in my womb. Oh, how precious it is to blessed to carry a child. Only now do I fully understand how women will wearily say that having a child is the hardest but best thing that has ever happened to them. I have never felt so in love and my heart has never felt so full of love until Judah. It's a different kind of love than that of my husband, I suppose because i know he could survive without me but Judah relys on me for his every need and finds a special type of comfort in my arms. It's pretty amazing to think that he is still surviving almost solely from me, still, like how he was when he was inside of me, since he's still almost exclusively breastfed. It just blows my mind to look st this little being and know that he's a part of me.

He has hit so many milestones over the past few weeks.  He started crawling the day after his 8 month birthday, while I was at work...so I missed it! The day prior he kind of started to crawl, but it wasn't official since he'd kind of bring both of his legs together and push off them together--sort of jumping along.  He's an expert crawler now, and he's all over the place.  He loves the fan and he's always trying to stick his fingers in it so we have to keep a close watch on him. We don't want to be losing any little baby fingers!

He's also trying to get into the dog bowls (he knocked over a full water bowl this morning) and loves climbing on the bag of dog food. That's the next development! He started pulling himself up on everything. I think that happened about a week or so ago. I think he'll be walking soon because once he pulls himself up he's starting to walk his feet forward and backwards to move himself around and if you put your hands out, he'll slowly let go of what he's holding on to (once he has your hand) and "walk" to you. He also walks if you take his arms and walk with him.  I'm going to have my hands full.  I believe babies are born with their personalities then you get to foster the different aspects of it.  I can already tell Judah is going to be strong-willed so it will be interesting.

He's started babbling within the past few days and today I saw his very first little tiny tooth showing through his gums. My eyes started to well up.

He has started to develop separation anxiety which makes nap times a huge battle, so that's been difficult, and he's been waking up several times a night again over the past 4 days.  My thought is that his teeth are probably bothering him and that because of all the milestones he's hit in such a short amount of time, it's whacking his brain out a bit. Poor guy.

What's new with me? Well real quick because I have to finish my lunch AND get a shower before he wakes up from his nap (that won't happen haha). I got the CRV-- it's awesome (although not the cleanest, it wasn't detailed when we bought it--what the heck?!), I am retiring from working at the store--I'll work this Saturday, I volunteered got this Sunday, then Jare has Tommy's bachelor party and the following weekend us theirs and Val & David's wedding, so those Saturday's are out....then I volunteered fir one last Sunday. Then I'm done. Weird. This summer will be 6 years there, too.

I'm back into and totally pumped about my crafts, I extended the living space onto our porch, have been decorating the house, and going to paint the china closet this awesome deep, deep plumish purple, we got a new hand-me-down couch, and have been making this all feel like home. It's good.

I know there must be more, there are so many good things.  I will save it for the next time though.

See you along the journey--

Aww Little Baby Judah

He's probably only a week or two old here...Notice how he's swaddled in a receiving blanket...that didn't last long!

Good Stuff.

Judah is growing in leaps and bounds.

He started sleeping in his crib probably about 2 weeks ago.  Recently he had started waking up again at night---3 and 4 times, usually starting about 2 hours after I'd put him down for the night.  He was still sleeping in his pack n play, next to our bed.  He had started rolling over, too, and sleeping on his stomach.  He was starting to get sooooooooooooo cranky during the day because his teeth were bothering him and my sanity was starting to get a little frayed.  I called a friend over for reinforcements.  My house was such a disaster, he just wanted to be held, the poor thing didn't feel well and was super needy....Any who, I was able to clean everything up and get organized and decided that if he was waking up that many times a night anyway, I might as well put him in his crib---make the transition.  The first night, he slept through the night.  The second night...he slept through the night.  The third night he woke up once!  I couldn't believe it!  It was the easiest transition we've made doing...well...anything with the baby!  Hallelujah!  He really seems to be enjoying his crib and instead of my waking up to him crying in his pack n play, I wake up to him sneezing or talking to himself.  I go in his room and he's rolling on his back holding his toes, rocking back and forth smiling.  Nice way to wake up :)

We got his new big boy car seat and just need to install it.  We also have our car up for sale (waaaa) and are getting a 2004 green CRV.  It comes with a PICNIC TABLE in the back!  Where you'd think you'd lift up the carpet in the back (I guess trunk part of a car) and you'd find the spare tire....that's where it lives! Woooo how cool?  It also has a sun roof, AWD, and some other features the car doesn't have.  Oh, and like 20k more miles.  Ugh.  Oh well though, I pray that God blesses our new rideeeeeeee and we won't be driving all over the place all the time anyway.  There's so much more room, too than the car, so that'll be nice too.  AND the CRV gets the same MPG as some of the sedans I was looking at.  Sedan sounds like an old lady. 

OK, next. Jared and I have decided to tithe where we feel lead instead of simply giving it to Parkerhill each time.  Not that we think that it's not a good place to give, but it's become routine and kind of a thoughtless thing that we do just because it's what we've been doing for so long and...well, like I said it's just become routine.  Now, I get my part of the tithe and he gets his, and we decide what to do with it.  I was so excited when I found out where to give it this time around and I think God was really excited about it, too.  It was awesome and I love doing his work.  It makes me feel so good to able to encourage His children by doing what He wants.  I have to decide where to give this time...It's exciting to see what will pop up.

On Friday, I propped Judah up to sit like he normally does (tripod sitting).  He grabbed his ball and sat straight up.  So, I guess we have a "real" sitter now.  Cool.  Still no crawling yet. We'll see.

Another new thing: I've been dairy free now for a week and 2 days.  It's really not as hard as I expected it to be, although ALL I WANT IS A PIECE OF NICE CHEESE!  Judah doesn't do well when I have too much dairy and I saw a post of CraigsList from a lady whose baby is really sick.  She's on a desperate search for dairy free milk and I figure who better to be able to donate than me?  That sounds rude, but it's not intended that way.  I say that because:
#1 I work in a place where learning about elimination diets is common knowledge, practice, and easily supported
#2 I have friends that can offer advice and support
#3 Judah does better anyway
#4 I won't be bloated anymore and I do better, too (although I will go back to cheese and ice cream :) )
#5 It will hold me accountable
#6 I found these: 

They are UNBELIEVABLE!  Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Well, I better get going, I have to go puree some green beans,  Judah's never had them before :)

Milestone.

Since I always forget to document.  Judah can sit up unassisted now.   Hooray!

That is all!

See you along the journey--

Thursday.

So  here's something weird.  I keep smelling mysterious things that no one else smells.  For 3 days now, I've been plagued by a heavy cloud of cigarette smoke.  It's making me insane. No one smells it.  I don't know what's going on because I can never smell anything on a normal basis to begin with, but now I smell this so strong.

Weird #2.  A girl Jared went to school with just had her 2nd little girl.  I had a dream that she just had her baby....I got out of bed, got a drink and took note of the time--it was 2:40.  the next morning I went on facebook to see if she had her and sure enough, she had her about 10 minutes before I got out if bed and checked the clock.

Hmm, what else?  It was my birthday Monday.  Different than other years because we normally go out to a fancy dinner with a good group of people then go into Scranton for the night.  None of that nowadays :/ Anyway, I got a JoAnn's giftcard from Lindsay, money to buy a sewing machine (which I did and it looks AWESOME! Can't wait for it to get here), and some other moniessss.  I'm going to use it to get new bras to hold up these continental soliders, if ya know what I'm sayin,  and some new clothes. And new shoes.  Hmm I don't think I have enough for all that.  I'll be taking monetary donations. Thank you. Michele came over for lunch with Kevin, that was nice.  Oh, I also got lots of EN gift cards this year.  Val got me a pretty necklace that I love that I've had on hold forever.

Speaking of Val, she participated in a green vendor fair yesterday.  It was cool, her stuff looked great, she made a handful of sales.  There was also this other lady there and she was selling things she sewed from vintage fabrics. I was so excited to see the beautiful fabrics and patterns--so inspired. I bought a lavender sachet with eyelet (I love eyelet) on the front as well as a really sweet keychain to replace my funky one.  I "borrowed" some pics from her blog---you can see the sachet pillow I bought, it's the light green one on the bottom row. Only $8. The key chain was only $6.50, so so so cute...there's a close up of the fabric on it.

Judah is going to start crawling any day now...He's been getting his knees up and his butt up, just isn't quite sure how to coordinate it all just yet.  He's on the move anyway, using his upper body strength to pull himself forward and off his mat and using his feet (and toes!) to push off.

Last weekend was his first trip out of state, we went to celebrate my dad's birthday.  He got to meet two of my aunts, an uncle, and one of my cousins. It was nice--hadn't seen any of them since the wedding.

He's been a lot happier the past few days, much more vocal (in a good way), is getting reaaly good with his hands, is sleeping unswaddled (praise the Lord) and in his pack n play since the bassinet, well, he's just too much of a tank for that now.  He soooo strong and when he gets a good grip it hurts!  Jared said he grabbed a hold of his jugular the other day and almost ripped it out.  He's been holding my cheek on one side then grabs the other side of my face and latches onto my jawbone.  Not Jared, the baby.  It's hilarious.  I don't know what his silly deal is.  Oh and he's growing a mohawk.  More on that later.

See you along the journey--

A peak into Judah's first Easter basket

I decided to wait until Judah is at least 6 months before we are going to officially start solids. Doesn't that seem so far away?  Well, he'll be 6 months about a week after Easter.  I can't believe it.  We're going to slowly introduce solids into his diet, serving him once a week, then stepping it up to a few times a week until he's a full fledged food eating gentleman.  I don't think abritrallily picking an age then shoving food down his throat every day from that point on is the way to go.  That being said, I bought him his first spoons today.

Something that was sort of a planned impulse buy was the Fisher Price Seahorse.  It was planned because I heard people giving it rave reviews, it looked super cute, and when I pressed it's belly, I fell in love.  Impulse because it wasn't on the original Easter basket contents list.  Side note: look how precious that baby looks and look how big his clothes are on him.  Judah grew up WAY too fast.

Next, comes Sophie.  Everyone knows Sophie.  It's been Amazon's #1 item in the baby department since forever.  She's made of natural rubber and food safe "paint".  She's a teether.  I want to take it out of the box soooooooooooooo bad and give it to him but I already let him "test drive" his seahorse and Jared didn't like that.

Finally, we have here a "Sassy Teether Feeder" haha (Go ahead.  Try not to say that in a fabulous voice).  What you do is you stick frozen fruit in there and the baby can teeth on it instead of sucking on a plastic thing.  The green part goes in the freezer to keep the food cold.  I got a tip from someone about letting your kids chew on a papaya spear when they're teething.  That seems like a good idea to me--and they'll be getting those enzymes, too.  No sugar added of course.



See you along the journey--

Body Image Issues

I never was really bothered too much by my body...I mean, it bothered me when people would comment that I was too skinny, members of my immediate family said I had an eating disorder because of the food that I prefer, and I still remember being picked on in 5th grade for having small boobs.  It wasn't something that I really gave much thought to, or paid much attention to, because it just wasn't important to me.  God knows I chose other things to obsess over instead.

I had a great body image when I was pregnant.  Although I felt sloppy (mostly because I was in pajamas every. single. day. due to bed rest) when I got to great ready and go out, I felt great.  I loved my big belly (and loved thinking about how I was nourishing a child and keeping him safe)...and other things were curvier, too.  Even though your physical body is not what makes you beautiful, I felt beautiful.

Since having Judah I have been struggling about being insecure about the way my body looks.  Over those 9 months, my skin stretched to accommodate my new shape.  After giving birth, everything, well, deflated.  My thighs and butt have drooped and my hips got wider.  I have extra skin on my stomach now that is loose and jiggly.  When I button my pants, I have a "muffin top" and it's discouraging that I don't fit into my clothes.  After feeding the baby, "deflated" isn't even the word for it and things are hanging down to my belly button!

I'm really surprised at my feelings because, truly, I never really cared before.  I suppose once I'm able to get out of the house, and pick up some new clothes that fit my new body, I will be able to appreciate and embrace it, rather than feeling discouraged and uncomfortable.

Who knows.  We all have issues and insecurities and it's important that we don't discount each others feelings and realize we're all on this journey together, just in a different way.

See you along the journey--

Here Goes Nothin'!

Alright. Jared's asleep.  Baby's asleep.  Let's see if I can get this post done before someone needs me.

Okay, back to two Saturdays ago.  We had a potluck here (I so wish I would have taken pictures!).  I made it all official by sending out fancy little e-vite invitations and we ended up having 7 guests and 3 children come--Valerie, Kevin, April (her two daughters), Tom, Briana, Megan and Heath, from our birthing class (and their daughter).  Combine with Jared, me, and Judah....it was a fulllllll house!!  We brought the dogs over Jared's dads (I don't know how we would have managed otherwise, in hind site) and we used our table and borrowed one to create a beast (haha I typed 'breast' the first time, can you tell I'm a mom?) of a table.  I went to Salvation Army and got these sweet candle holders, used the tapers from our wedding (they were just sitting there), put on a super fancy table cloth we got from our wedding, and had some other candles in little tea light holders.  Tom walked in (with his box of pizza haha) and said "Whoa! What is this? Fine dining?) Heck yes it is.  We had good tunes and lots of good converastion...well, hilarious conversation I should say.  The whole house was so loud, which was a good thing, because to me, it meant that everyone was having fun.

Here was our menu:

We covered the drinks:

• Water with lemon slices 
• A variety of teas
• Pomegranate blueberry punch with fresh floating blueberries :)

Appetizers:

• Kettle brand Salt & Vinegar chips
• Hummus with rice thins
• Blueberries
• Another hummus and crackers (made by Megan)

Dinner:

• Herb salad with walnuts, shredded beets, and feta (Val)
• Turkey quinoa mexicanish bean thing (Kevin)
• Indian chicken dish (April)
• Frittata (us, but from Caravia :) )
• --Tom brought his own pizza because he doesn't eat fruits or vegetables or anything healthy he said.

Dessert:

• I made these cookie dough balls that Lindsay showed us.  I used raw cashews and omitted the salt. They were a hit.
• We had 3 different kinds of ice cream and Jared made his famous fudge and real whipped  cream.  MmmMmmMmm.  Everyone lo0o0o0ved it.  

We all really had a good time and so many people thanked me, even days later saying how much of a good time they had.  It made me feel really good and I was so glad that we had a successful even and the little Judah pants enjoyed himself, too.  It was like Baby Batchlor, by the way.  He had 3 wife options to choose from haha.

The week following the party, last week, was a big week for Judie-too-fruity (as Jared calls him, in hopes to toughen him up).  He found his vocal cords and has started shrieking uncontrollably and rolled over for the first time.  In the morning, he rolled over but had his arm stuck underneath him so he couldn't pull himself up.  Jare was in the shower, so he missed it.  Later on that evening, when he was playing on his mat, it looked like he was going to attempt it again, so I busted out the camera.  I caught it on tape! His first official roll over! It was like one swift move, too.  Boom--rolled over, hands underneath of him, head held high as could be!  It was so exciting!  Take that tummy-time!  Everyone really forces doing regimented tummy-time, but Judah hated it, and they way I look at it is that I don't ever see adults walking around dragging their heads across the floor, so why force him to do something that makes him upset and scream?  His head control has gotten so good, too!  The pediatrician told me to start solids, but just like with just about everything else she's recommended, I'm not doing that yet.  I know he's not ready yet, there's no rush, and I believe in letting his digestive system mature.  Oh! As of March 8th, he weighed in at 18.4 lbs so it's not like he's malnourished, either. Haha, big boy.

Well, I've brought you up to speed through this past week and I still need to fill you in on Judah's first trip to the hospital and our first time calling 911 to our house.  You'll have to wait til next time, folks, as my kitchen is a disaster from dinner and there are lots to things to be done to clean up before the boys wake up.

Next post, I plan to post a bunch of new pictures.  Stay tuned!

See you along the journey--

What-A-Week

I still would like to write about last weekend's events, things that occurred over the week (Judah rolled over!), and the events of last night/this morning (spent 7 1/2 hours in the ER after having the ambulance come for the little baby love of my life).

But, I cannot.  But, I will soon!

Everyone is safe and God is good.

See you along the journey--

Potluck Party!

Wow! What a fabulous night we had!!

I'm so proud of myself for the way it was organized and the way it turned out.  I wish I would have taken pictures! The table was set so nice, it was super fancy, the conversation was loud, loud, loud and full of laughs and everyone had a great time.  I will write more about it, maybe tomorrow, but I was just so happy I wanted to share!  Good night compadres! (Hmm...is that the right word?)

See you along the journey--

March Madness!

Today marks the beginning of a month long cleanse here in the Gard household.  I'm already overwhelmed.

We decided to have a "Mind, Body, & Soul Cleanse" to regroup ourselves and get back on track in all aspects of our life since things have been, well, a little crazy over the past year.

(A little aside.  This time last year, Judah was beginning his amazing journey called life.  No one but God knew it yet. Neat!)

We decided that for the whole month of March, we will not consume dairy (ice cream ahhh!), red meat, juice, chocolate, and other highly processed foods; focusing on whole, homemade, good-for-you food. Oh, and each dinner will include a salad.

TV will only be watched if it's intentional--if we dedicate a specific time to watch a show or movie together--instead of leaving it on as background noise or to zone out for hours on end... wondering where our night went.

We will do something special for one another and spend quality time each evening, wheather we're tired, cranky, what have you....

and finally, we're going to be doing nightly devotions.

We've got to get our act together to be good role models for Judah and we want him to look at the relationship between his parents as a godly one and one filled with love and respect (and laughs, too.  Lots of laughs).

Dinner tonight was a 4 oz each portion of organic boneless, skinless chicken breast with vegan  worchestershire sauce, mushrooms, and celery.  Carrots.  Small, small baked potato.  Tonight's salad was baby spinach and romaine hearts with sliced strawberries, walnuts, and a blush wine vinegarette.  Mmmmmmmmmm :)

Dessert was Healthy Carrot Cake Power Scuffins. You've got to try them.  They're ridiculously good.  Almost as ridiculous as the ridiculously long titles of her recipes.  Anyway, they're so good.  And moist. And yum.  Way too much sweetener though for my taste, I will be cutting that down next time (and saving myself a small fortune, as real maple syrup is liquid gold).

Well, that is all for now.

See you along the journey--

Happy Friday!

Wow!  So many things.

First, Jared just called and said that he dropped all the scrap off at the recycling center...and that he was praying hard for it to be at least $70.  How bout $300-something! That is SO cool and such a blessing because money has been a little tight lately.  We have what we need and aren't behind on our bills, but we are at the point where we need to be really careful about what we spend money on and how much we're spending...We're living too close to paycheck to paycheck and that makes us very uncomfortable.  God has really surprised us with unexpected money throughout the past year or more and I believe if we continue to obey Him, and continue to tithe with a glad heart, we'll be okay.  I know it.

Butternut

Sweet

Noodle

Next is a my weekly deal-e-o.  You know how I do.  We needed just a handful more diapers to complete our stash for now.  I was on thebump today and a lady was selling some of her cloth diapers because he son's skin reacted negatively to the suede cloth in a particular brand (a brand that I already use and love!) They were used as a part of a large rotation and she had purchased them in January...so, they're pretty stinkin' new still.  Anyway, she had them listed as $15 a piece (brand new they cost $18) so since they're a little used, I asked if she'd take $12 a piece if I take 3.  She said yes.  "Ask & you shall receive" "You have not because you ask not".  Alright, anyway, then I thought, "Oh! Maybe Lindsay will want in on this sweet deal!"  and she did, so0o0o0o I emailed the lady back and told her I'd take 2 more if she'd let 'em go for $11 a piece.  She said yes again, muahahahahhah!!  Let's do the math here people!  I got 3 diapers, normally costing $54 for $33 AND no shipping.  Or tax.  Ahhhh yes, that is a savings of $21 buckaroonies.

Next, next is that Judah has started teething.  He's got 2 bumps on his bottom gums and it looks like I can see a tiny bit of white poking through...he keeps chewing on his tongue in those spots, is drooling EVERYWHERE, is trying to shove everything in his mouth but doesn't quite have the coordination. Poor babe keeps cryin & cryin!  If I rub my finger on his gums, it seems to help him a bit, and I've tried to give him a teething ring (which bothers me bc it's probably bad plastic) but he just makes the yucky face and doesn't really want it.  And he can't hold it by himself so I'll just sit there and rub it in his mouth for him.  We started putting him to bed earlier--around 10:30ish (well, he puts himself to sleep, but we were waking him for one more feeding around midnightish) and he's been sleeping til around 7 am-ish.  Hahaha-ish.

We got his professional pics taken on Valentine's Day.  He was exactly 3 1/2 months. Here are some of my favorites: 

 

Well dudes, that's it for now.

See you along the journey--

Today at work was fun; it was the annual ice festival. This year was extra special because it's the town's centennial.  Not only were there tons of people and sculptures all over the place, but they had a horse drawn carriage bringing people up and down the street.  We sampled out Annie's macaroni and cheese, coconut water, and energy drinks.  I love free samples.  The live music was really, really good, too--Rogue Chimp.  It's a jazz fusion band-- so fun and upbeat.  Look em up on Youtube.

Today was also the day for the drum circle--I've been waiting for an opportunity to bring Judah.  I had Jared bring him to me so I could nurse him at work and when we were done, we popped into the circle.  He loved it.  He was looking all around, all wide eyed, checking each person in the group out.  I hope it expanded his little mind and I hope he has a love for music.  It seems to calm him down and he seems to enjoy it--I hope so.  It would be wonderful if he developed a passion for feeling the beat in his chest and jammin to the tunes.

In other news, but still baby related, his hair is getting coarse.  His fine, soft, baby hair is going away :(  It's growing like crazy, too (but he still has a little bald spot on the back of his head from where he sleeps).  He doesn't like drinking from a bottle anymore and Jared (and Grandpa) are finding it difficult to feed him when I'm at work or when Jared and I have to run errands.

The car seat is very close to being too small, so we're going to have to invest in the next stage--a convertible car seat.  It's going to cost us around $150, but that will be okay since it's such a struggle to get him in the seat because he hates it and screams and screams and he's just too heavy now for me to lug him around in it.  I went to JoAnns the other day, and wouldn't have been able to do it without putting him in the wrap.  I put him in it and he fell asleep, letting me shop and look around for atleast an hour.  It was nice.  I like bringing him into different environments, too, because I feel as though he's able to hear new sounds, look at new sights, and further develop his thinking.

Right now, he's playing on his play mat, looking at himself in the mirror, swatting at a toy I have dangling next to him.  A little over a month ago, he wanted nothing to do with his playmat.  Now he can spend an hour on it entertaining himself.

Oh, on Thursday the weather was nice so Val came over and we planned some projects for around the house (we're going to make a headboard and re-do (well I guess it has to be finished first to re-do it) our bedroom.  Yay, I'm excited!  We took a walk because it was so nice out.  

Friday, yesterday, I went to April's and we hung out for a few hours and walked again.  It was soooooooo nice out and I broke a sweat.  It was AWESOME to be outside and AWESOMER to be doing something physical.  I think between the two days I put around 4 ish miles on the stroller.

Last night we celebrated Valentines Day.  Jared got me 6 chocolate covered strawberries (5 of which are gone :) ) flowers, and a really nice dinner at my favorite restaurant, AV.  We both had waters and started off with a sample of the garbanzo pate and fabulous bread with really good olive oil to dip in.  We both got our own appetizers (at this point, we decided to go BIG).  Jared got portabella mushroom caps, stuffed with sausage, and I got the sweet potato gnocchi. MmmMmmMmmmmmmm!  For dinner, I got sea bass with a carmelized onion crust, purple potatoes, fresh green beans, carrots, and I think they called it some type of demi glaze over the fish.  Red wine maybe?  I don't know.  I'm not fancy enough.  I don't even know what a "demi glaze" is.   Jared got filet mignon and I forget what his sides were.  For dessert (o0o0oh baby, you had room for dessert, you ask? Not really, but we ate it anyway) we had a guiltless chocolate brownie, which I guess was "guiltless" because it was flourless... yeah, ok... and that was good.  I wouldn't call it a brownie, it was like a very moist cake...and a scoop of pistachio ice cream.  I think she said it was homemade.  I left there thinking I was going to explode.  But not heavy and greasy feeling.  Just explosive. :)

Tonight Kevin came over for dinner.  I made this: Turkey and Quinoa Meatloaf
It's SO good.  I omitted the hot sauce and added horseradish instead and omitted the tomato paste, replacing it with ketchup.  I also upped the qunioa to 3/4 ish of a cup.  It was a hit and is my go-to meatloaf recipe.  We had steamed cauliflower and carrots and multi grain bread. 

Well, it's 10:46 and I am EXHAUSTED!  Ah, I just looked over at the playmat and Judah T played himself to sleep.  I'm going to get myself washed up and try and feed this babe one more time.  He seems to have been up for a huge portion of the day so I hope he sleeps for like 8 hours :) and that I'm not woken up on my own with bizarre-o dreams.  It must be the breast feeding hormones.  Any who, enough about bewbies and time for bed.

See you along the journey--

TJ Maxx

Soo0o0ooooooooooooooooo I went shopping the other day...all by myself!

I was in TJ Maxx and found a really awesome set of nailpolishes (is that the correct way to pluralize nailpolish?).  Anyway, the brand is called Goldie and I've seen it sold at Bath and Body Works among other places.  It was a gift set of 8 shades....Guess how much? Okay, I'll tell you.  only $7.99.  $7.99!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  For 8 full sized bottles of nail polish.  I tried to look it up online to see how much the set normally sells for (I get really excited like that) but couldn't find it.  What I did find, though, was that each bottle indivually retails for anywhere from $8-$10.  Hello! I got 8 of them for less than what 1 normally costs!!!!!!!! I can't wait to paint my nails and not feel like frumparella.

This is what I found on beautynewsnyc.com

"After searching high and low, for the best nail varnish formula ever, Goldie finally found it in Gay Paris. While most polishes tend to chip or crack, after two days, Goldie’s Nail Lacquer manages to have some staying power. Free of toluene and formaldehyde, there is no need to worry that the Nail Lacquers will be damaging to your natural nails. All shades are housed in a petite, yet curvy bottle, blossoming under a delicate white flower cap. Tantalize your toes or nails winter, spring, summer, or fall. Polishes are available in all shades from deep blood red to delicate sheer pink and retail for $8."

Oh, it's vegan, too ;)

See you along the journey--

Sensual Saturday

Haha, sensual.  What's that?  That's a topic for another blog ladies and gents. 

Anywho, I'm coming to you live from the couch, one hand typing, feeding the baby. Oh, and enjoying a lil trail mix I made: oats, raw walnuts, sunflower seeds, cranberries, a few honey cashews, & you guessed it...chocolate chips. Mmm  Mmm MMMMMMMMMM!

I worked again (or ah-gee as Judah says) today, so that's good.  Since I only work 6 hrs a week, they don't take many taxes out and I bring home 10 something an hour.  Every little bit helps.  I'm responsible for paying my school loan then the rest I'll save in my checking account or use for personal spending.  It's nice to be independent again, even if it's only a few extra buckaroonis here and there.


Lunch was fun yesterday.  I picked up Val and we met Michele at the restaurant and her 3 sons were there.  They're all hysterical and we had a grand ol' time.  I had portobella & sage soup & split a slice of quiche with Val.  We all hung out for a while and I  nursed in public for the 1st time which was a little nerve wracking for me.  Of course I was covered up, but I still felt like everyone knew even though it probably wasn't that obvious.  Michele helped me get comfortable at first, told me no one was looking, and told me if I want to go out and do things, I'd better get used to it.  She's right.  After that, me and Judah T went back to Val's for a few hours and talked. We had a great conversation and it was awesome and so refreshing to be out of the house, without being stressed if the baby cries or needs to eat, and just having some girl time.  I don't ever get that....we decided were going to make it a weekly thing now.  Cool.  Oh, and I got to eat some of her cake that she made.  She's so fancy and her food is always so fabulous.

Judah really discovered his hand 3 days ago. He forms a fist and holds it way out in front of him.  He starts to rotate it and stares and stares.  It's funny because his other fist is also clenched so tight---but he pays no attention to that one haha.  Jared said today while I was at work, he opened his hand and was realizing he had fingers.  It's neat to see his growth and progress.

Speaking of growth, he's probably nearing 20 pounds already. A lady was in the store today with her son who is 7 months.......and is the SAME SIZE as Judah.  She tole me not to worry because she thought her son was going to be a giant, too, but his growth plateaued. That's good because if he keeps growing at this rate, he'll have to start carrying me! 

In 2 days, Jared and I will have been together 7 1/2 years.  Holy mole-o.  I'm excited to get back to being more than roommates (err, housemates, since we don't even sleep in the same room anymore).  It's been tough.  We need to learn how to spend quality time together and laugh like we used to before the pregnancy got really difficult, unrelenting stress set in, and before we had a life that we became responsible for.  Life's not bad, it's just very, very different.  Gods plan is perfect and I'm excited to see what he has in store for us.  Maybe another baby in 9 months.  Just kidding.  Seriously, though.  Just kidding. Haha.

Enough for now, I say!  My trail mix is all gone.

See you along the journey--

Alright, enough of that crazy picture below.

...but there's a reason why they call it "wordless Wednesday", right?  The sick part is I've been trying to remember every Wednesday for the past few weeks so I could post it and got disappointed every time I missed it haha.

Today continued the never ending saga of my botched root canal.  I went to the endodonist today where I was tortured and made felt like crap by the assistant.  It started off by her asking me if I brought my x-rays and I said "oh, they didn't fax them over?" and she smirked and said, "you don't fax x-rays".  Oh, okay, sorry.  Didn't know things were hand delivered anymore.  So she turns around and the x-rays are sitting right there on the counter.  Then I'm told I'm going to have to get atleast 5 more x-rays.  So then I get upset because I don't like the radiation, just had an x-ray on the 29th of December and a CT scan the 2nd week of January.  I ask for a few minutes to talk it over with Jared.  I felt like I had no choice (which I didn't because it was either that, or get it pulled, which I probably should have done in the 1st place).  So she comes back in and procedes to anilalate the inside of my mouth cutting it to shreads.  I said, "Ouch, it's cutting me" and she goes "Well we put the same ones in 10 year olds mouths.  You're just going to need to grim and bare it. Now I'm going to have to cut you again".  I'm dead serious.  What a jerk.  Then she proceeds to ask me how my labor was.  What an idiot.  So anyway, they put the clamp on my tooth and I could feel it really bad so they had to numb me.  Then he came back and started to work and the numbing didn't work so they had to do it again.  So he's working and he gets to the end of the root with the file and the pain is excruciating and I scream.  It was the same exact pain I had at the other dentist during the original procedure.  He stops, then does it again.  My whole body starts shaking really bad and I'm crying.  This is why I asked Jared to come with me, but he left because he was afraid the baby was going to fuss (which he didn't :( ).  So there goes x-ray #2 in less than 10 minutes.  So anyway, he can't get the file out that the other dentist broke off in the root of my tooth, he dumped some medicine in the tooth (hole?) and patched it up...only for me to have to come back in a week.  I'm going to become one of those people that needs to be heavily medicated before getting any dental work done.  Before any of this root canal stuff happened, I never minded going to the dentist.  I actually really enjoyed going.  I couldn't understand why people would get so worked up about it, thought they were being sissies, and just needed to get over it. Ugh, I've joined their side.  Oh, and I think I have a cavity, or two, on the other side of my mouth.  Nice.

Stop whining and what's up with Judah T you ask?  Well, he laughed for the first time this week.   Jared had his hands and was making them bop together and he made noises as if he was playing the drums.  His face lit up he had a hugggggge toothless grin and laughed and laughed and laughed.  It was so cute.  He's been in cloth diapers for the past 2 weeks and it's going pretty well.  I swapped with a girl on thebump and just got 2 new ones in the mail today :).

I'm going to have lunch here tomorrow with my good friend, and boss, Michele, my BFF (lol) Valerie, and a neighbor.  Speaking of neighbors, I hate when people spell it neighbour or favourite.  Disgusting.  Back to what I was saying.  I'm going to have lunch here but I have to be there by 12:30, well, I'm going to meet at Val's house at 12 (ish, I'm never on time), so that means I need to leave here at 11:30.  Judah eats at 11.  I don't know how that arrangement's going to work, oh well.

What else?  Hmm, I guess that is it for now.  I'm going to go wake little boy boop from his late evening nap to put him in the bath so I don't need to do that tomorrow morning. Wish me luck. Oy.

See you along the journey--